Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
