She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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