Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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