If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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