RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Do vagina's smell?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
