I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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