why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
