these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
