we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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