try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
