I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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