This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
