a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
