He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
