It's Friday. Sex?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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