We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
