I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
