i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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