4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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