Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
