idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
