Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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