Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
