the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
