I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
