My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
