So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
