this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
