I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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