Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize