remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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