morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
