Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
