thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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