How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
