If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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