I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
