Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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