ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
