There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sext me about skeletons
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
