Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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