I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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