Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
