meet me or not, i'm out of control
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
