we're blogging at a bar
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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