I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
