I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
