I met the friendliest cop last night
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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