tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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