North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
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