The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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