Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
